The Hobbit Trailer

My brother was in town for Amara's birthday and after I broke the exciting news to him of the coming Hobbit movie we dreamed of what form the movie would take and then we determined what we think would be the ultimate movie trailer! I wrote it up in screenplay format, and here is what we want:

INT. CAVERN - DARKNESS

Nothing is visible but blackness with the red glow of heat at visions edge.

SMAUG
(measured, malicious, booming)

Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare!

(beat)

MONTAGE

While cut scenes from the movie roll we hear Bilbo’s boasts to Smaug as a voiceover, partially narrating the montage.

BILBO (V.O.)
(boasting)

I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen for the lucky number. I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me. I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CAVE - DARK

Gollum is seated facing Bilbo in the dark. His eyes betray dark and evil thoughts. He moves menacingly close, licking hungry lips. He then delivers to Bilbo a riddle.

GOLLUM
(menacingly)

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.

QUICK CUT:

Bilbo stands up looking around nervously with one hand in a pocket. He is still facing the loathsome Gollum.

BILBO

What have I got in my pocket?

QUICK CUT:

Bilbo, terrified, fleeing through dark tunnels.

GOLLUM
(despair and hate)

Thief, thief, thief! Baggins! We hates it, we hates it, we hates it for ever!

FADE OUT.

THE END

Yep, it is going to be a long few years waiting for the movie.